Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize