her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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