1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
it's great music for shaving your balls
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Randomize