She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
