I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
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