so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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