well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
