these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Randomize
