Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Randomize
