lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
