walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
My vagina just recognized that song.
he fucked my hip out of place.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
