Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Randomize
