Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
