Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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