O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Randomize
