oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
we're making bets on your personal life
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
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