Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Randomize
