I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
