You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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