Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
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