you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Randomize
