I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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