Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
