then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
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