Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
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