dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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