Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I think i peed on brittanys purse
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
