Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
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