He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Randomize
