I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
