this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize