ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
I understand Curling. That high.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Randomize
