do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Randomize
