She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
But break dance skills will only take you so far
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
