woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
