you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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