I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize
