I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Randomize
