why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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