First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
I think a kid would responsible me up
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
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