i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Randomize
