They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
It's official drugs can't kill me
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Randomize
