I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Randomize