I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
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