She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
