so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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