So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Randomize
