Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Randomize
