We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
