Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
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