Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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