Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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