dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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