Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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