I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
