Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
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