the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
