Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
