the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
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